The year is 2014 and Bec is enough.
“What do you mean you are not making New Year’s Resolutions? What will you do all year?” exclaimed a good friend when I announced my intention to free myself from the pressures of making (and inevitably breaking) resolutions for 2014.
When I explained my intention in Nepal, I received the opposite response. As one Nepali woman put it – “What’s the point in planning for the future and setting goals. We have no control over whether we achieve them. The gods will decide.”
What’s wrong with me? I felt like I had let the world down because I didn’t set New Year’s Resolutions. I felt torn. If I don’t set goals, will I wander aimlessly through 2014 without achieving anything? If I do set them, am I sending myself the message that I am not enough, that I need to change. All this talk of resolutions made me exhausted, sapped my energy. Why do I need to be more, do more, aspire to more?
Then I realised something.
We start where we are. Right now. Draw a line in the sand – this is where I stand right now. This is me. I am enough. I don’t have to be better, thinner, fitter. I am enough, right now. Simply enough.
That’s my word for 2014. Enoughness. No more beating myself up for not being a better friend, a better mother, a better leader. This is me. I am enough.
Happiness seems to be measured by our dreams, our goals, our ability to achieve things or to change, always just out of our reach. But I build on what I have. Instead of New Year’s Resolutions I am bound to fail, I promise myself to be kinder to myself, to do more of what I love – dancing (privately!), having conversations with fascinating people, exploring new places on foot (there’s my exercise). I’ll make the challenging parts a part of the process and the thing I love, the outcome. I won’t give things up, I’ll just introduce more of the things I love, leaving less room for those which are not conducive to my dreams.
And to guide me, I will be guided by my Greatness Questions. I wrote these several years ago and have lived by them ever since. They are my beacons, my values if you like. They help me to make decisions and to prioritise. To live by them every day – that’s my commitment to myself this year.
- 1. What will I do today to make a difference?
- 2. What will I do today to show my passion?
- 3. What will I do today to show my commitment to continued spiritual growth?
- 4. What will I do today to inspire others?
- 5. What will I do today to innovate new ideas?
- 6. What will I do today to show my commitment to developing world class trust with everyone I come into contact with?
They will help guide me through my year of Enoughness. I highly recommend writing your own Greatness Questions. Find a place where you can kick your shoes off and feel the grass under your feet, lean against a tree and write down the things that make you feel the most like yourself. What do you love doing, those moments when you forget time? Then turn them into questions to motivate you every day to live more of those things. There is no magic number – 3, 4, 5, 10. It’s up to you. Then write them on a pretty piece of paper and stick it somewhere to remind you.
The Nepalis are very fatalistic, believing that the gods will provide and so we do not need to set goals or have dreams. I believe we need to at least have a destination in mind but the journey, as long as it is lived by my Greatness Questions, is open for the gods to guide, for the universe to work its magic. Whatever it looks like, it will be enough.
So as the year hurtles ahead, be kind to yourself. Remember that you are enough. You are perfect exactly as you are. Reward yourself more for what you do achieve rather than beating yourself up for those resolutions which fall by the wayside or those things on the To Do List which never seem to make it to the top. You’ll still keep moving forward, but not jerkily in fits and starts of resolutions and goals. But through a leisurely stroll from where you are right now, through places you love towards that gorgeous sunset you deserve.
Bec Ordish – Women’s Empowerment
Bec is passionate about learning and about life. She wears many hats through which she explores her passions, including running the Mitrataa Foundation, an organisation she founded 13 years ago to provide women and girls in Nepal with the skills and knowledge to empower themselves. Her dream is to be an inspirationalist – someone who inspires others to believe in themselves and achieve their dreams, to find their gift to the world. If we build on what is working, on our gifts and passions, we can tackle any problem faced by the world. She lives in Nepal with her two daughters, Nimu and Saraswoti. Bec can be contacted at www.mitrataa.org
Life Balance = Laughter. Cuddles. Conversations.